#88 -- Competition

#88 -- Competition

Gee whiz coach I'm sorry I haven't made the last tree Sunday Scribbling's Prompts, But too many other things have been vying for my attention. But I'm here now, does that count, or am I a loser now?

I know, I know, I didn't finish that NaNoWriMo contest either, but again I had to take time for my family and my job. I wrote 16,000+ words in 16 days and it's a real good story and I'm going to finish it, just not in the month of November 2007. Does that make me a loser? Huh? Huh? does it coach? Well, I can't put up the I'm a NaNoWriMo winner icon. So if I'm not a winner then I must be a loser right?

A poetry contest? No, I don't think so! My poetry isn't very good and there's no sense entering if I can't win, isn't that right coach. I'm not good enough coach, sorry. Let's face it coach, at most things I'm a failure.

Remember that EAS body building contest Jacob and I did 10 years ago? Yeah, cripes we didn't even get and honorable mention. Just a crappy old certificate of participation and a crumby medal that has tarnished over the years. It didn't matter that I worked my ass off and lost fifty pounds and had the best looking physique of my life at age fifty. Nope, just another, you lose again sucker.

Always second place. that's what my new nickname should be; Mr Second Place.
I can't win a weight lifting contest, the other guy my age is always just a little bit stronger. And of course you remember when I tried to run that Marathon; the Marine Corps marathon two years ago? Win? yeah right! I was lucky to finish that sucker in 5 hours and 55 minutes. Yes, of course I felt a sense of accomplishment, but man, twenty thousand runners finished ahead of me. Hell even Josh whipped my ass by an hour.

Everything in Life is a contest coach. Life itself is a contest. Think about it it starts with the genes competing to survive to make the species more adaptable. For crying outloud every molecule in my body is in a competition of one sort or another.

Then there's sibling rivalry, and fighting over girls and playing sports and always trying to be the king of the hill. And it doesn't stop there, my hospital is competing with four other hospitals in the county to be THE Hospital. Do they get together and say, " hey if we put our resources together and build one central hospital we could offer our patient population the top of the line best A-number-one health care facility in a hundred mile radius." Nada baby! Heck man, they just want to keep wasting millions of dollars competing with each other.

I'm beginning to believe that we, we being all living organisms, are programed from birth to compete; for resources, attention, survival and so we even make up nonsensical competitions. Maybe those nonsensical efforts are just continued practice for winning the really important things in life.

Think about it coach, there are baby contests, bikini contests, baking contests, beauty contests, arm wrestling contests, essay contests, scholastic aptitude contests, foul shooting contests, archery contests, Halloween contests. Oscars, Emmies and Obies; well, you get my point. Oh, and don't forget that singing contest Macy Van Arnum is in too.

Some contests are just for fun, some are just plain funny and sometimes they're too ridiculous to be funny. The money wasted in too many instances should be a crime.

I realize, however, that the best candidate in a contest doesn't always win.

What's that you say coach? Just doing your best is ok? No kidding, are you serious? You mean I'm not a loser if I don't come out on top? (tell that to my old wrestling coach.) So I can submit to Sunday Scribblings even though I missed three practices?

Thanks coach, you're the best in my book too.

Hmmm, Maybe I'll run for president. At least you don't have to be the brightest bulb in the closet to win that contest.