On the patio, former screen room, at 0245.
Thursday, December 14, 2023
On the patio, former screen room, at 0245.
Friday, December 01, 2023
Sleep habits after retirement.
It's Friday, December 1st, 2023 and I'm at my laptop writing about my woes as they relate to my sleep habits. At this exact moment, it's 0234. Please note that I've been up and awake since 1210 AM. The delay between getting up and coming to write about it just demonstrates my life long habit of giving in to procrastination too often. But here I am; finally.
At 9 PM last night, one hour later than my usual bedtime, I climbed between the sheets. I'm thankful for a lifelong habit of being able to fall asleep literally a few minutes after my head gets comfortable on my pillow. My issue is that 3 hours later, I'm wide awake. That is not enough sleep time to satisfy the sleep experts and my Smart watch. To be honest, I'll get one, for sure, and maybe 2 naps in throughout the day and usually accumulate 7 + hours of sleep in a 24-hour period.
Three years past my retirement date at 75 years of age and 4 years from my expected life span (the expert's divination) end and I'm worrying about my sleep habits. When I complained about this to my primary care doctor this past May at my bi-annual check-up he said, "Bob, you're 78 years old, it's ok to take naps and have less energy than in your earlier years." I listened and nodded my head in agreement, but inside said to myself, "the calendar my say I'm entitled, but my mind refuses to accept that I must act old."
Fifty years of employment programed my circadian rhythm. My routine over that span of time consisted of: bedtime at 8 PM, if not working in the OR on call. Awakening and arising at 3:30 AM, Pee, coffee, ruminate. At 4:00 AM be in my gym working out. 5 AM, in the shower. 5:30 prepare and eat breakfast and at 6 AM leave for the hospital to work.
So early rising is the norm for my life. Getting only 3 - 4 hours of sleep is not my norm.
It seems, as relayed by the "experts," that this is the norm for people as they age. Whoop-dee-doo, I'm "normal." As if that's supposed to make me feel better. These same experts advise that to prevent this early awakening, one must get more exercise, don't eat a large meat less than 3 hours before bedtime, and keep to a regular routine. They also recommend less screen time (TV, and blue light devices.)
I get plenty of exercise, much more than most people my age; I play pickleball 4 - 5 days a week for at least 2 hours per session, plus I get 6,000 to 10,000 steps of walking in daily. I rarely eat a meal after 5 PM. I am, however, a worrywart and stress over anything and everything. Too often, when awaking after only a few hours of sleep it's some problem I'm worrying about that wakes me, and the only thing to do is get up, I refuse to lay in bed awake, and distract myself, usually by reading my ever-present book or write something. Imagine a self-proclaimed writer actually sitting down and writing. However, recently I have begun journaling my daily activities.
Anyway, that's it for this morning. Just felt like putting it down in writing. No solutions offered, no prognostications. Just putting it out there.
Now I'm faced with the decision between preparing breakfast or going back to bed; I'm a little tired but not sure enough so as to fall asleep.
Sunday, November 05, 2023
Dreams
It's noonish, yesterday, I'm feeling disposed to take a nap. I've been up since 2 AM and, among other things, have spent 4 hours typing a blog post; see yesterday's post.
My usual nap time is around 3 pm, so it's too early for me to lay down to sleep. I decide to sit at the end of the sofa and start my new book, thinking, it will either wake me up or lull me into slumber.
After only a few pages of the introduction to "The Times," and my eyelids are becoming too heavy to lift. I use a nearby mail envelope as a bookmark, set the book down, pull the fleece blanket up to my chin and I'm off to dream land. If I nap while sitting, I rarely, if ever, go into a deep sleep, seeming to drift in and out of dozing but never really unaware.
Today was different. Different in 2 ways; I was deeply asleep and when startled awake I remembered the dream. I've remembered dreams before, immediately upon awakening, but if I don't immediately get up and write it down (poems come to mind here,) In just moments it will be unrecoverably gone from my memory.
Most of my dreams are a conglomeration of people and places out of sync with reality but not so much as to be unbelievable. to wit: I'm in the nurse's lounge at Hepburn hospital. I'm on break, relieved from a case in room seven where I'd been administering an anesthetic for a few hours. I'm tired and hungry. Looking in the mini-fridge I see what, at first, appears to be a bagel sticking out of a paper bag. When I reach in to pull out a bagel, a 2-foot longish bagel like item, softer than a bagel but otherwise bagel like comes out. I'm now ravenous. While I'm rapidly stuffing my mouth, the back door to the lounge opens and in comes Tammy Demers along with another women and young girl (think 6 or 7,) all carrying bags full of Christmas packages.
After the little girl asks me why my eyes are closed and I'm, only then, aware that they are, Tammy walks to the other side of the lounge and sits down on a 2-seat sofa. I turn to talk to Tammy, desperate now to open my eyes. The unknown woman and little girl disappear. The harder I try to open my eyes the tighter shut they become, while Tammy converses with me nonchalantly, asking what the case is I was doing before break.
Of a sudden, shrieking, screaming and a sense of gnashing teeth pierce the air. I'm frantic now to open my eyes and at a loss to locate where from the terrify sounds are emanating from.
Slowly, as I leave the dream state but still pondering confusedly where are the screams coming from, I'm suddenly fully awake, eyes sprung wide open, ears acutely aware of the horrific screaming which now appears to be coming from just outside my kitchen door. And just as I'm rising from the sofa to investigate who is being attacked outside my door, I recognize the radio announcers voice over Alexa describing a new apoplectic movie which is about to come out.
When our mind blends the dream world with the real world the results can seem bazaar.
Saturday, November 04, 2023
Serendipity in Maine
I don't write here much anymore. Actually, I don't write much anywhere unless you count Facebook posts. Which are usually merely comments or short missives to describe a posted photo. Hard to call yourself a writer when you don't write. So here goes:
You may or may not know, because I didn't publish it, that my wife of 54 years left me 2 years ago tomorrow to live with her boyfriend. While in Florida, they cohabitate just a block away from our once shared Florida home. A daily reminder if you know what I mean.
The night before her departure she asked me if there was anything that I would like to do with my remaining years that I haven't done; unfinished bucket list and all that. I replied, after a few minutes' reflection on my endeavors, travels, and accomplishments spanning 76 years, no, not really. I was naive as to the reasoning for this question, but in less than 24 hours I understood the motive behind her query. "Move on with your life!"
Feeling abandoned, embarrassed, angry and confused, it took me more than a few days to come to grips with my new situation, but sooner than I would have guessed, I began to mine my memory banks for things to do that I'd surrendered, for one reason or another.
Some years ago, we'd started making plans for a trip to Maine together with our neighbors, Kelly and Jeff. Then, out of the blue, for reasons I can only speculate on, Diane, my wife, put the kibosh to that endeavor.
Thus, I decided to travel to Maine in June of the upcoming summer, by myself, and see what I'd missed. I consulted with a Florida neighbor, hailing from Maine and my best friend, Leigh, from New York, who'd graduated medical school in Maine, for a list of must-see attractions on my trip to Maine. With that list in hand, and the advice of my neighbor, Diane, not my wife Diane, who suggested I make a homebase in Bar Harbor, Maine and take day trips from there to see places on my list, and eventually travel south to Portland and do the same from there.
Saturday, June 11th, 2022, I set out by car, crossed the border into Canada via the Ogdensburg international bridge with the intent to traverse, easterly, along highway 401 across Ontario and Quebec (highway 1) into Maine and across to Bar Harbor. It's the shortest route from my home as I explained to the immigration officer at the Canadian border. Reading highway signs in french, once in Quebec, was a challenge. I relied on my Garmin GPS to guide me and unfortunately, she was determined to exit Canada and go through Vermont. That's a tale for another post.
I ended up spending the night in Bethel, Maine which, serendipitously, afforded me the chance to visit some unplanned destinations on my way to Bar Harbor, on the 12th of June: The Bethel Sugar Shack, the Salt & Pepper and sugar too restaurant for breakfast, (suggested by my friend Leigh when I called him to tell him I was in Bethel.) BTW the Salt & Pepper is not in Bethel and the winding rural road trip there is another story, and ending up at 1042 at the LL Bean store in Freeport, Maine. At 1510, I checked into my motel, Port Inn, in Bar Harbor.
After checking in, unpacking and getting settled I perused some brochures, provided by the motel, and made some reservations for a couple of excursions before setting out, on foot, to reconnoiter the picturesque village of Bar Harbor: 1. Nature Cruises aboard the Acadian, 2. OLI'S TROLLEY, and 3. a day cruise aboard the four masted schooner, Margaret Todd.
On Wednesday, June 15th, I walked a couple miles to Agamont Park at the foot of Main Street overlooking Frenchman's Bay to take in the breathtaking views of the park, the harbor, in particular the Schooner Margaret Todd at dock and just meditate on my serendipitous good fortune.
Knowing me and my penchant for photography, you may be wondering by now, why there are no pictures of my travels in this post. Believe you me I have dozens of pictures, all on my phone, and I haven't figured out, yet, how to transfer them to my laptop.
Sitting on one of the many park benches, taking in the early morning, just shortly after sunrise, vista, a middle-aged looking women approached me and asked if she could share my bench. "Of course," I replied, after which she sat down beside me and without further talk, sat staring out over the Bay as was I. After 5 minutes or so, she said. "Isn't this a beautiful morning?" to which I offered, "It doesn't get any better than this." Within, no more than a minute, 2 at the most, she turned toward me, with tears slipping down her cheeks, saying "do you mind if I share something with you?" I nodded in the affirmative and she continued, to the best of my recollection, "My father recently passed away after years of suffering from Alzheimer's, I visited him daily and would wheel him out to the lawn outside the nursing home, where he spent his last days, to bask in the sunshine. On one of those days shortly before he passed, he remarked, unusual for him to speak at all, ""it doesn't get any better than this."" Chokingly, with tears now streaming down her face, she said, "Thank you for giving me back my daddy for just a moment!" And then she got up and strolled slowly out of the park.
If, after reading this far, you'll indulge me to back up a day to June 14th, 2022. And the actual reason for this post on serendipity; the gift of finding valuable or agreeable things not looked for.
It's a bright, sunny, low 70s morning as I climb aboard the Oli's Trolley to embark on a 4-hour narrated tour with 30-minute stops for walks and photos. The scheduled stops are Cadillac Mountain, Sier de Monts Spring, Thunder Hole, and Jordan Pond. The trolley is full, primarily with couples. There is one empty seat behind the first seat behind the driver/narrator, occupied by an unaccompanied woman.
I will not clutter up this post with an account of all and everything we saw and did except to say that our driver/narrator was exceptionally well informed and an extremely entertaining storyteller, because I want to skip to Jordan Pond and the by chance circumstance stroll with the unaccompanied woman in the seat in front of me.
Although I did not learn the unaccompanied woman's name until later, I'll introduce you to her now so that I can refer to her by her name and not the unaccompanied woman, Freda Iverson.
Wednesday, September 06, 2023
Butt-dialing
Saturday, July 08, 2023
Strange pick-ups; truth is stranger than fiction.
Thursday, March 23, 2023
UFOs
What a treat greeting me from my patio this early morning;