1 March, 2007Prompt for Poetry Thursday:
"The thing we find most beautiful in the world without giving away what that thing is."
ODEFrom afar
Thou comest from afar, long lithe, and firm,
Fitting in my fingered hand precisely.
Words flowing from you smoothly, placed long-term
Upon my mind, my heart enticingly.
From dryad's death you sprang to life anew.
Formed and shaped by a firm caring pressure,
Colored becomingly; yellow, black, red.
Held Caressed, contemplated in review
To impress, bring forth emotions fresher.
In earnest come my thoughts to you embed.
I wrote this piece in a half hour this morning. It is rough to be sure, and needs to be fiddled with, but in essence it expresses my thoughts about the beauty of this subject.
Please any advice or coaching is readily welcomed!
Labels: Ode to ?, poetry thursday
posted by rel at 7:13 AM
31 Comments:
I don't know Rel, as an Imp, who strangely enough looks like the girl in the picture, I'm not sure if I can give you any advice.
I do like your poem, it makes me all tingly. ;) Sometimes the quickies are the best.
Rose
xo
Hi Rel,
I think it's great the way it is. Rough and ready and an Ode to the all mighty pen.
Have a great day.
What an image of emotions! Truly bold.
Thanks for the birthday wishes! D :)
No advice here, you do fine all on your own! Good job Rel!
Rel – I’m rotten at riddles so I won’t guess. But I did love your use of language here. This was delightful to read and offered pleasures beyond simple comprehension. No suggestions here either other than to leave it alone for a day or so and then see if it still pleases you without revision.
Your pen, no? Not bad for a poem written in half an hour. Your use of language is really clever, mysterious. I think it's a wonderful poem rel.
I loved this, Rel! But I have to stop reading the comments before I post my own! My mind was going in a completely different direction but now I can definitely see a pen here- and that's some pen!
Very nice, Rel! No editing needed, in my opinion. Wow.
Great elegy to a writing medium. No change needed. It works very well.
BTW, I wrote mine in 20 minutes!
Whatever fiddling you do, please leave "Words flowing from you smoothly, placed long-term
Upon my mind" because that's lovely.
You're right about the Russian folk song. Thanks for stopping by.
I guessed a book of poetry but maybe the pen is the answer ;) Well done! Beautifully written
I'm thinking it was a pencil, since dryad's die when you fell their trees -- unless your pen is made of wood? I do love your imagery. You weave words beautifully.
Quilly,
Right on girl!
I knew that anyone who recognized the dryad "wood" get it.
rel
REl,
How beautiful. You certainly can't tell you wrote it in a half hour. It seems so well crafted.
I am gonna stick to the poem first. This was beautiful. I honestly did not know what it was-since you welcomed guesses, and I still didn't necessarily know it's a quill until you wrote it. I thank you for visiting my page too.
Now about the comments-nothing bad...Is 20 or 30 minutes quick for a poem? Just curious. I think I will keep my mouth shut about the average time it takes me to write a poem cause it might make you guys feel bad. Maybe that is why yours are always better?
Rel - the imagery is really good. Would you consider changing "words flowing..." to "words flow from you smoothly," and using a different verb than placed - perhaps "imprinted long-term upon my mind, my heart." ? Read it aloud, too. Often you'll find words like "a, and, the" can be left out and though the sentence still stands, it's more poetic.
If this is 20 minutes' work, I'd love to see what you can do in an hour!
I was going to guess "pen" but then I noticed the "Dryad's death" bit. Your pencil then?
Its a beautiful poem. I wish I could write something with such beautiful imagery in just 30 mins. Love the picture that you used to go along with it too.
Nothing beats the instruments of creation...an extension of our minds, a freeing of our dreams.fit perfectly in the palm of a hand.
I didn't catch on to the "dryad" since I don't recall ever hearing that word before but I was thinking a pen! Beautifully written Rel! xox
You don't need any coaching as far as I can see, Rel. Your poetry is beautiful and I especially love that one.
Very nice poem for the prompt. Well done!
From what I have read, Rel...you need no coaching and no advice. You are doing very well without the help of others. Wonderful words from the heart...and a tender heart it is. :)
I'm glad that Brian said it was a pen, like Dennis I am no use whatever at riddles, my mind simply doesn't work that way! I certainly am in no position to offer anyone advice on writing poetry, I merely stand back in admiration of your efforts:)
I like it just the way it is, no change needed, a beautiful ode. Well done.
yes definitely a pen, I got that before reading the comments. Excellent praise for that most vital of a writers tools...
Wow, Rel, look at all these comments!
I love this poem, just as it is. Thanks for sharing it with all of us.
Holy goodness if this popped out of your head in 30 minutes! Terrific piece and I love that picture - so awesome! Where did you find it?
Poet with a day job,
Google images ... Ode ( I think she's called Odette)
rel
Whoever your muse is, Rel, she must be quite wonderful!
I love the lanugage of this poem... it just rolled along as I read it.
I like it alot, Rel. I, like Clockwork Chris, tend to write my poems very quickly. I'm not good at editing my own stuff -- once I get in that mode, it's hard for me to stop doing it until I've drained all the life out of it! :)
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