Dear Remiman,

I have a question for you to ponder that I've started thinking about...



Have you ever said to yourself "Man, if I was __ age again, I would do

this..." ?  It seems to me that I think that every so often.  Not that I

regret what I've done or where I am in my life... but whenever I look back

at pictures or remember how my life was then, etc... I find myself

saying... If I was 21 again, I would have no fear doing "fill in the

blank"...



I think about it more as I approach my 30th birthday... and I think man I

wish is could be 21 again.  but if I step back, I realize that in only 10

short years I will be 39 about to be 40, and I anticipate I will think

"Man, If I was 29 going on 30..."  I guess its a continuous lesson in Carpe

Diem!!!



But my question to you is, If you were given the gift of "turning back the

hands of time" and you woke up tomorrow 29 going on 30, what would you do

tomorrow afternoon?



Sincerely,

#23

Dear #23,

If I woke up tomorrow, age 29 going on 30, what would I do?
The simple answer and not being glib in anyway, is that I would do exactly what I did the first time around.

I do understand that your question is more rhetorical, representing a major "passage" for you, rather than expecting to hear some : "If I had it to do over I'd do such and such."
I have few if any regrets about the choices I've made in this lifetime. If I were to go back now and change some decision, new or different, then I wouldn't be the person I am now, nor would I be here in this place. More importantly...neither would you (hypothetically.)
29 going on 30 was a very traumatic time for me. Of all the decade transition times, it was the hardest. Turning 40, 50, and 60 were marked as mile stones only, but without much emotion.
My 58th year was a little stressful since that was the age my father was when he moved on to another plain. I worried that I'd suffer a similar fate. Other than that, I've always felt growing older beat the alternative.

In her best-selling 1976 book, "Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life," Gail Sheehy defined 30 as the beginning of midlife. I read that book in 1977 at age 32. It was a most revealing book and helped me understand my feelings. I didn't want to be 30 because that was "old age", I wasn't a kid anymore, I was a grown-up now, and most importantly it was the age when I began to realize my mortality. I now knew that I was no longer 6 feet tall and bullet proof. Even though at age 30 I'd already been married for 8 years, had a 7 year old daughter, and a 3 year old son, I didn't see myself as old enough to be "30." Thirty was "over the hill." You were no longer in the "in" crowd. Young folks didn't talk to people over thirty because they were adults and couldn't/wouldn't understand.

Yesterday, Dr. Thompson asked me: "rel, how old are you? I mean in your mind, not your chronological age. How old do you feel? " I said "29. Well, actually I'm in better shape now than I was when I was 29."

I was in Korea for most of my 29th year, with the U.S. Army. The tour was unaccompanied, meaning I had to leave my family stateside while I served a year there. Because of all those your getting older thoughts, I decide to get back to my "fighting weight", get back into shape and hold on to youth for as long as possible. Stave off father time if you will. Remember I was still in my twenties, so I could do anything. I went on a diet: for 30 days I ingested only water and tea. I lifted weights everyday, I ran everyday (the 2 packs-a-day of non-filter Camels couldn't slow me down). I played inter mural baseball and touch football. I played tennis everyday. I lost 30 pounds in 30 days, and ended up in the hospital for a lymph node biopsy of a huge lump under my right arm. Long story short...the doctor said: eat! So I did; one meal a day (well balanced..500 cal. a day) for the next 30 days. So, in 60 days I had lost 40 lbs and weighed what I had at high school graduation. When my wife joined me for the month of Oct., she didn't even recognize me when she got off the plane.

Your feelings are normal. Everyone will experience what you are feeling and thinking now. More meet it at 40 than 30 but it is a universal rite of passage.

Carp Diem!

You said, "

I find myself

saying... If I was 21 again, I would have no fear doing "fill in the

blank"..."

Remember, you can always be 21 in your mind, just like I'm 29. Now you can do what ever you choose without fear.

I remember a conversation I had 11 or 12 years ago with 3 young, cocky, devil may care men.
One said to me: "Dad, we've been talking and we were wondering, we notice that whenever you decide to do something you just go ahead and do it, like, you know, nothing stops you. You always do what ever you say you're going to do."
Me: " yeah, so what's your question".
Son; "Dad , we were wondering, why you smoke?"

#23, age is just a number, don't ever let it stop you from doing anything.
Carpe Diem!

Remiman