Wednesday, February 20, 2008


Punch, T-shirt, Unravel

Lloyd, you’re an asshole! An unadulterated asshole!

Listen, if you want to ravel your life by fornicating with every pubescent tart that tickles your fancy, I could give a shit less. If you could leave it at that, but no, you have to get emotionally involved, thinking, yahoo, this is the best, the greatest, the one and only love of all. Then they leave you with your defiler hanging out, threatening to further despoil your life. If Lindy, your wife, finds out it won’t just be you career that unravels; you won’t have enough nickels left to buy a T-shirt, let alone the fancy silk underwear you import from Europe.

I’m here to tell you, get your head out of your ass and your dick back in your pants. If you don’t deliver the punch-line correctly tonight at the performance you’ll be looking for a new gig.

What’s that up the road ahead? instead of; what’s that up the road………. A head?

Shit man!!!

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Rel,

As a tart of the ripe kind, like a pear tarte flambée, I adore this story. So like a man, although I know nothing, nothing I tell you about hanging dicks of any kind. That being said, you always know how to tickle a girl's fancy by saying the sweetest things.




1:03 PM  
Blogger paisley said...

oh this was too incredibly clever.. and that photo!!! holy christ what a combo!!!!! you have to know i loved the line....

"Then they leave you with your defiler hanging out.....


2:38 PM  
Blogger Churlita said...

Hmmmm. that's intrguing. When do we get to hear more?

3:04 PM  
Blogger tumblewords said...

Holy cow, man! That's telling it like it is and leaving no 'holes' barred! Laughing....

4:09 PM  
Anonymous Corina said...

You tell 'im! Lord knows we've all tried!

5:27 PM  
Blogger Laane said...

Thanks for visiting my blog.

Interesting use of the keywords.

Why import silk underwear from europe?

7:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Laughed my you-know-what off. Great job.


9:37 PM  
Blogger myrtle beached whale said...

As one who has spent a lot of his life with his defiler hanging out, I loved it.

10:16 PM  
Blogger Lucy said...

Rel, You and Rick are able to add sex to just about ANY 3 words! haha! FUN tale! :)

10:56 AM  
Blogger TC said...



Seems like it's probably too late to save Lloyd. But at least he knew he tried, right?

10:56 AM  
Anonymous Christine said...

I noticed the imported silk underwear too. Is that what the wealthy do? I always wondered where people like Sean Penn or Steven Speilberg got their underwear.

Thanks for reqading my poem!

6:36 PM  
Anonymous pia said...

I love how out there it is--great way of using the words

8:10 PM  
Anonymous amarettogirl said...

This was absolutely great- fun, witty, but best of all the writing had an excellent technical pacing that felt quick, down and realistically dirty! Nice job... a real treat to read and what great memorable lines!!!

10:45 PM  
Blogger Michelle Johnson said...

Rel, I had a great laugh with the line- imported underwear from Europe. I agree with Amaretto Girl. This was a naughty but, fun read. Have a nice weekend.

11:16 PM  
Blogger Bone said...

let alone the fancy silk underwear you import from Europe.

Loved that little added tidbit of information :)

The defiler. lol Never heard "it" put like that.

3:52 PM  

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