#117 Vision

Mark Twain said:

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

In the deep dark recesses of my adolescsnt mind resides a gremlin who whispers, as unrelentingly as the sea erodes the shore; "you're weak, you're stupid, you're not good enough- you are a fucking poor excuse for a human being; a failure!

Oh that little bastard is a coniving SOB: no matter what successes I may have attained in life, he always finds a way to belittle them.

At night I steal away, from that wretched failure monger, to my dreams of success and prowess. Ah, if only....... But dreams are just that; dreams, fantasies.

After years of dreaming dreams that don't come true, the despicable little beast has gained more ammunition to hunt down and destroy my self-esteem. So, you may wonder why I've yet to be reduced to a state of catatonia or worse yet, to have ended my earthly plight. Why have I not shuffled off this mortal coil?

Because!!

Because, through-out my whole life, I've been exposed to people who saw in me more than I could see in myself.

Aunt Nellie, who, despite my childish antics, and adolescent mischief making, always told me what a good boy I was.

Uncle Ed, who refused to accept my awkward attempts to play baseball as inability. He kept putting me in the line-up until I'd proven to myself that he was right in his encouragement.

Mrs. Wells, my 6th grade teacher, who, when she sent my report cards home, always ended her comments with; Bobby is capable of doing better.

Coaches Plimpton and Stratford, who snatched me from the brink of juvenile delinquency to turn me into the athlete I never envisioned.

Mrs. Hunter an art teacher who praised my inovative paintings, which were actually products of my unknowing colorblindness.

Mrs. Robie, High school vocal music teacher, who encouraged me to solo at concert every year.

Coach Bill Powers, who wrote in my senior year book; "to the best athelete I ever coached."

D. My wife, who pushed me out of my complacency to further my education and become the professional she envisioned me to be, and to be a better parent than mine were to me.

My whole life has been peopled by friends and acquaintences who saw a better me than I saw. Even today, my friend Leigh refuses to allow me to give in to an aging body; always encouraging and praising so that I push against the aging process.

What's the secret to success for a man who has been plagued by a nay-saying inner-self? I still take refuge in my dreams; dreams of things that can never be, will never happen, and/or should never happen. Yet some of those dreams, those that I call visions, are achievable. By paying attention to how I act and behave in those dreams, I have a blueprint of how to act during my waking hours. I act as if I've already achieved my dream. In essence I chose and choose to believe what those who believe in me say and have said: Bobby's capable of doing better.

Leigh and rel, Ottawa 1/2 marathon 2008.... front and center.