Anesthesia Jargon

Laying on the gurney

Slipping off the end.

Wheeled down the hallway

To some unknown end!

They xanaxed me,

I'm glad to say.

It allayed my anxiety

And kept high B/P at bay.

Moving to the OR table

My ass stuck to the sheets,

I was hardly able

To cover up my cheeks.

My gown that barely covered me

Was little protection from the cold.

Mask to keep their face from me

And creeping hands so bold!

B/P cuff, leads for EKG,

The IV in my arm,my finger's--pulse oximetry;

A voice devoid of charm.

"Here comes the anesthesia, propofol.

It's that burning in your vein.

Time to say; goodnight all".

The light begins to wane.

"I'll stay with you throughout the case

And will keep you safe and secure.

Your vital signs will beep a pace,

While surgeon cuts to cure."

Surgery's done, the wound is neatly sewn.

The sevoforane is turned off,

You're breathing on your own.

I'll take you to the PACU

And pull your endo tube.

You'll awaken, feeling better

Than you ever thought you would.

Because you haven't eaten

Forever and a day,

You'll also wake up hungry...

I hope you enjoyed your stay.

If you did enjoy your day;

My name is rel.

But if it wasn't all that gay;

It's Mr. S.O.C. you'll need to tell! ;)



by bob larock crna