Saturday, February 05, 2011

I’ve got to tell you this story, even though, technically, its gossip. My wife imparted this tale to me and on a broad scale I tend to believe it, without talking to the involved parties personally. It seems that this fellow we know has recently been put on a budget by his wife. She thinks he spends entirely too much money in the cafeteria at his place of employment. I suspect she is referring to his breakfast purchases as well as his lunches and various snacks throughout the day. I have no idea how much he spends there nor do I care, but I think it’s important to the story to let you know that this fellow earns a yearly salary, in the low six figures, in the healthcare industry. He is quite frugal, some would use the term cheap. I can verify from personal observation that this fellow does not part with a dollar easily. He’s reluctant to buy a raffle ticket from a co-worker or to contribute to any other of the various fund raising activities that arise from time to time in the average work place. I’ve heard him beg off siting the fact that his “allowance” from his wife doesn’t have any extra for those things.


He does, however like to eat. I would say that he is fifty pounds overweight and I’m being conservative here. His love of eating is equaled by his dislike of exercise. He would rather take a pill or pills for high blood pressure and high cholesterol rather than control both of these health threats through regular exercise. The irony will be apparent shortly.

Rather than curb his calorie intake to satisfy his wife’s demand for a cut back in cafeteria expenses, he now packs a cooler every day with his meals and snacks for the day. Fair enough, you might say, and I’d agree with you.

There is a parking lot directly in front of this man’s place of employment, which is designated for the use of customers only. The employees are required to park in the lot 2 to 2 ½ blocks from the main entrance.

Because he feels his cooler is too heavy to carry the two blocks, he is requesting special dispensation from the parking police so that he can park in the customer’s parking lot. Are you freaking kidding me?

Is there some irony here or not?



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16 Comments:

Blogger jaerose said...

Oh yes, I am sure there is! There's no short cut through the parking lot of life..great story..Jae

9:01 AM  
Blogger BJ Roan said...

Perhaps this is his wife's way of putting him on a diet, which would help if he were to walk and carry the cooler. Perhaps someone should intervene with the parking lot police. Great story!

11:04 AM  
Blogger Kathe W. said...

good lord I am excercising my ribs as I fall off my little red chair laughing!!! He should just get a skateboard- some bungee cords and tow his load in that way!!!
Excuse me now as i am still laughing too hard to properly type!!!!! hahahahah

3:27 PM  
Blogger lightverse said...

...or maybe he could get one of those food backpack thingees to make cartin' the calories a bit easier. ☺

4:17 PM  
Blogger Stafford Ray said...

After reading your 'just another routine day' post, I think you're the crazy one!
Seriously though, he must be bored at work to need to visit the cafeteria so often... maybe he would like a change of job to 'cafeteria cook'?

4:51 PM  
Blogger oldegg said...

Despite this having a funny side there is also a sadness to this piece. Life is so precious and with his salary he could be anticipating a really great retirement one day doing all the things he can't do now. Yet he is slowly killing himself and no one will be more surprised than him when a fatal or near fatal blow ruins his life completely.

Great work.

5:10 PM  
Blogger JTS said...

Well written! A funny story in a really sad way. I am oft amused at how easily everyone can see the foibles in our lives except ourselves.

5:37 PM  
Blogger Susannah said...

:-) Oh dear!

Great story.

Thanks very much for your visits to my blog today, it is good to meet you. :-)

6:06 PM  
Blogger Bee's Blog said...

Sad - when something happens and his doctor says that in order to live longer he has to change his lifestyle, reality will hit! Until then...............

6:57 PM  
Blogger Old Altonian said...

Suffice to say that this is extremely well written and that I enjoyed it a lot. As to the morality of the subject, I cannot comment, being a consumer of full fat, hard cheese; full cream milk; fatty meat, etc. My BMI is 27,5, which isn't bad.

9:55 AM  
OpenID Laura Gomez said...

Both funny and sad. And nicely written!
He could always employ a cooler-caddy. If all the lazy people in the world employed one, we could solve unemployment in a jiffy.

9:32 AM  
Blogger Churlita said...

Too funny...And also a little sad.

4:50 PM  
Blogger bonniew said...

Maybe he should arrange with the parking police to "hold" his cooler so that he wouldn't have to carry it from his car 1 1/2 blocks away! Just sayin!

8:05 PM  
Blogger Natalie Jean (Bottoms) Kelsey said...

Well..Is his wife his mother or a caring individual that wants him to eat healthier? Maybe also the man could look at the cooler as the extra weight he will be carrying by eating so much and if it is a hefty feat to walk with it from the far parking lot then maybe he shouldn't be eating so much. OR maybe he can eat that much and consider the walk his daily exercise :)
But it still sounds like the wife is a little demanding to me.

11:54 AM  
Blogger Nita Jo said...

I'm with a couple other comments... it's a little sad. What he eats isn't hurting anyone else. Maybe eating is his escape from a controlling, nagging wife. Anyway, your story certainly makes one think, and it is very well written.

12:33 PM  
Blogger Suz said...

so sad
but so is this man's insides
no happiness to be found there

10:32 AM  

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