Monday, May 09, 2016

When your mind is all abuzz

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Mind all abuzz with disconnected thoughts that give you a floundering feeling of uneasiness?  I find myself in this state all too often; it's disconcerting to say the least.  I feel like I'm drowning.

What to do, what to do?

Not always, but too often this happens to me when I awaken after of few hours sleep, usually with the remnants of a disquieting dream still lingering into consciousness.  Usually I'll lay there, in bed, hoping to drift back to sleep, and occasionally I do.  But when I don't, it's imperative that I get up and find some task to immerse myself in to focus my thoughts:
Clean the apartment.
do a load of laundry
pay some bills
write some drivel
cook breakfast
organize my files and or pictures
trim my finger nails
shine my shoes
etc., etc., etc..

The activity that is always successful for me is listening to music, especially when driving long distances.  You may find that ironic.  Listening to music is a passive activity and easily gives the mind the freedom to wander.  It's a rare song or piece of music that doesn't spur a memory for me to dwell on. Incongruous  that this series of disconnected memories could erase the disquieting feeling of being adrift in a sea of unsettling thoughts.  But that it does.

So every morning when I awaken floundering in a morass of unsettling thoughts, I arise, fix a cup of coffee, go outside, light a cigar,  go to YouTube, and gaze at the heavens.  Without fail the roiling sea of vexing thoughts is settled and peace and a sense of purpose prevails.

The other day at work, one of my co-workers said that her husband doesn't like the radio on while he's driving; he finds it too distracting.  So she reads while he drives.

That got me to thinking; twice a week I drive for 3 hours and 40 minutes to and from my job.
And if it weren't for the radio and the music I'd be a basket case.  At the least, road rage would prevail.  But music, especially with SiriusXM;s variety I keep that peaceful easy feeling.

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