Thursday, May 01, 2008

Anesthesia Jargon

Laying on the gurney
Slipping off the end.
Wheeled down the hallway
To some unknown rend!

They xanaxed me,
I'm glad to say.
It allayed my anxiety
And kept high B/P at bay.

Moving to the OR table
My ass stuck to the sheets,
I was hardly able
To cover up my cheeks.

My gown that barely covered me
Was little protection from the cold.
Mask to keep their face from me
And creeping hands so bold!

B/P cuff, leads for EKG,
The IV in my arm,
my finger's--pulse oximetry;
A voice devoid of charm.

"Here comes the anesthesia, propofol.
It's that burning in your vein.
Time to say; goodnight all."
The light begins to wane.

"I'll stay with you throughout the case
And will keep you safe and secure.
Your vital signs will beep a pace,
While surgeon cuts to cure."

Surgery's done, the wound is neatly sewn.
The sevoforane is turned off,
You're breathing on your own.

I'll take you to the PACU
And pull your endo tube.

You'll awaken, feeling better
Than you ever thought you would.

Because you haven't eaten
Forever and a day,
You'll also wake up hungry...
I hope you enjoyed your stay.

If you did enjoy your day;
My name is rel.
But if it wasn't all that gay;
It's Mr. S.O.C. you'll need to tell! ;)

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Blogger paisley said...

oh that was nice... lively and well,,, i almost said fun!!!! as much as i have always had a love affair with drugs,, i find anesthetics lacking... in the fun department that is!!!!

12:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


That should be posted in ASC's. Let's make it a licensure requirement.

3:25 PM  
Blogger Churlita said...

I love your anesthesia poems. There can't be too many other people writing about that subject.

5:01 PM  
Blogger jellyhead said...

Hee hee hee, ha ha ha! I love this, Rel!

5:16 PM  
Blogger PEA said...

Rel, that was brilliant and has me smiling from ear to ear. I hope I never need to go through surgery again but if I do, I don't want anyone but you as my're the best! But'd see my cheeks!!!!!! lol Hope your week is going well, my friend! Happy May Day:-) xox

6:27 PM  
Blogger Jan Doble said...

i wish you'd been there for my 'many' surgeries; i have had anesthesia experiences from hell! i think i am allergic to what the chemicals are because i get a headache that won't leave for about 3 days. nice poem, too!

5:22 PM  

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