Anesthesia Jargon

Laying on the gurney
Slipping off the end.
Wheeled down the hallway
To some unknown rend!

They xanaxed me,
I'm glad to say.
It allayed my anxiety
And kept high B/P at bay.

Moving to the OR table
My ass stuck to the sheets,
I was hardly able
To cover up my cheeks.

My gown that barely covered me
Was little protection from the cold.
Mask to keep their face from me
And creeping hands so bold!

B/P cuff, leads for EKG,
The IV in my arm,
my finger's--pulse oximetry;
A voice devoid of charm.

"Here comes the anesthesia, propofol.
It's that burning in your vein.
Time to say; goodnight all."
The light begins to wane.

"I'll stay with you throughout the case
And will keep you safe and secure.
Your vital signs will beep a pace,
While surgeon cuts to cure."

Surgery's done, the wound is neatly sewn.
The sevoforane is turned off,
You're breathing on your own.

I'll take you to the PACU
And pull your endo tube.

You'll awaken, feeling better
Than you ever thought you would.

Because you haven't eaten
Forever and a day,
You'll also wake up hungry...
I hope you enjoyed your stay.

If you did enjoy your day;
My name is rel.
But if it wasn't all that gay;
It's Mr. S.O.C. you'll need to tell! ;)